Debut Author Series - Zeena Gosrani
We at SAIL Fest UK want to amplify the voices of all South Asian writers and illustrators working in kids books. In particular, we are very proud of our 2024 debut cohort who have struggled against odds to be published, and to be discovered by readers all over the UK and the rest of the world.
In this series, we invite debut South Asian authors and illustrators to reflect on their journey so far.
Over to Zeena Gosrani, the author of This Dark Heart
Am I enough?
My writing journey began on Wattpad, over ten years ago. For those who don’t know, Wattpad is an online book community where people post serialised versions of their first drafts and can get feedback from other writers and readers. It was a pretty great place to flex my wings and see what people liked, especially because I’d never thought about writing a book before then. I’d had ideas, sure, but my dyslexic brain couldn’t handle actually writing it down.
It was tough at first, but over time my writing developed, as well as my ability to articulate thoughts. My only problem with Wattpad is that it was a very white space. All the books that did well had white characters, which also reflected the bookshops and my bookshelf at the time. So that’s what I wrote.
Then along came An Ember in the Ashes (by Sabaa Tahir) and The Wrath and the Dawn (by Renée Ahdieh), and they blew me away, not just because they are exceptional books, but because I saw parts of myself in them. That had never happened before. I was excited, but I was also a little hesitant to follow suit because those books, and other diverse books, came with controversy. People from within those authors’ communities were criticising the portrayal of their cultures for not being accurate.
Culture isn’t a monolith. So many factors shape a person’s culture that it’s impossible to have the same experience as someone else, but it still made me question whether I was allowed to write a book set in an Indian-inspired world with demons from Indian folklore. I was privileged enough to grow up in a diverse part of the country and go to a school with a lot of other South Asian students, but I don’t like Bollywood movies, and don’t listen to a lot of Indian music, so I still didn’t feel like I belonged. I was too British to be Indian and too Indian to be British. No one ever told me I could be both.
The only reason I wrote an Indian-inspired book was because I never thought it would see the light of day.
Writing for myself made it much easier to let go of all those doubts and fears.
I now realise every facet of my culture went into that book, from my ancestors in India to my parents in Kenya and me in London. Because my culture isn’t just one or the other, it’s all of it. All those experiences have shaped who I am today. Letting go gave me the freedom to be myself.
In a world where the shadow-like ‘daayan’ stalk the night, the mages of Agraal are the only ones able to defend the realm. So when Princess Thiya discovers she has the extraordinary powers of a healing mage, she captures the attention of earth mage Isaac. To lure Thiya to the frontline, Isaac does the unthinkable, he takes Thiya’s true love Amara hostage. Together with fire mage Kaayan and her brother Lochan, Thiya must make a perilous journey to rescue Amara. But not everything is as it seems and the powers at work behind Amara’s abduction might come from the darkest heart of them all.
Writing this book was healing. It made me see myself in a new way. I stopped looking down on myself, wondering if I’m enough. Enough for whom?
I’m enough for myself.
So here’s my advice to anyone wondering if they’re enough – you are. Write whatever makes your little heart happy.
Everyone is going to have an opinion, but the only one that really matters is yours. If you love it, I guarantee someone else will too.
Zeena Gosrani
Zeena is a dyslexic writer who loves oxymorons so much, she thought she’d become one. She has always been a dreamer but never thought she could write until she challenged herself one day when she was between jobs, and she’s never looked back. She lives in London with her imaginary cat because she can’t have a real one (they had a meeting).
Follow her on @zeenagos on instagram and TikTok (and twitter for now).
Are you a South Asian author or illustrator with a debut book out in 2024 / 2025? Get in touch with us to write about your debut journey.
